To Do

Many of you have heard me whine before about the mountain of "to do's". Well, Mary Ellen Golden sent me this article. In it Srikumar S. Rao talks about improving your efficiency through first taking note of your mental chatter.

Not a problem! where do I sign up?

He starts with
"Odds are you sometimes feel like you're swimming in molasses. Your strokes are good, with power in them, but you're just not moving forward as fast as you'd like. You look at your to-do list at the end of the day, and too many items aren't yet scratched off and will lengthen tomorrow's list."

Oh, TOTALLY! I am SO on board.....

And here's his crystal clear nugget:

"Listen. Here is a fact of life. When you label something as bad, you are very likely to experience it as bad. In fact, you're almost certain to. But as your own experience has shown you, you never really know at first whether what happens to you is good or bad. You may not know for years. You may never know..... When you refuse to label something that happens to you as bad, then you don't experience it as adversity, and bouncing back is much easier. When you don't fall down, you don't have to get up."

SO wonderful! I have been trying to teach my daughter this, I try to help my friends through crises with this type of thinking! I just need to be reminded myself.

Last night I was distressed about a million things. I was laying staring at the ceiling. Robert walked in took one look and said,"What's wrong with you?" I told him.
He sighed and said,"How can you think that when your the luckiest person I know!" "I AM?!" I reply.
"Yeah, you wanted to be accepted to grad school, Ding!
You wanted to teach at Artfest, Ding!
You wanted to be accepted at more art retreats, Ding!
You wanted a job at CFCC, Ding!
You wanted your daughter full time, Ding!
You wanted a studio at Wabi Sabi, Ding!
then you wanted a studio at home, Ding!
You wanted to live in this house, Ding!
then this spring you wanted a new (used) car, specifically a Subaru, Ding!
You wanted your summer school class to fill, Ding!
You wanted me, Ding! (I know right?)...
the Universe just LOVES to give you stuff!"
Obviously I was laughing by the time he listed himself!
Hmmmm, he has a point!
Well then! Now I want to do a book! I want to travel to Europe again. I want a Dumore small precision drill press... all doable!
but I better not get toooo carried away! ;-)

Tara & Bella

Oh, you will cry! but it'll be worth it!

Mission Accomplished

Well, I got a packet today from the Humanities secretary... my student's evaluation of me as a teacher.



I couldn't look at it.

I was too scared.

I always have good comments, but there's always one or two that have criticism. That's not such a bad thing, but it's hard for me to be objective. I take it too personally. I've tried to tell myself all the things one would, "You can't please everybody. It's not about being liked" or "They have a valid point and I need to grow as an instructor." etc......

Their responses are typed, so I have no way of knowing who wrote them, but it's still scary to be criticized. I am throwing my all students a cookout tomorrow here at my house, I'd just gone and bought loads of hotdogs, buns beans.... and I told myself I wouldn't look at the evaluation until after, in case there was a bad mark and I felt hurt. So I'm listening to E-Town on NPR doing dishes... Robert's teaching in Raleigh and Meredith's gone to a friend's house. I have procrastinated a much as I can, and now I see the envelope staring at me. I open it against better judgement.

I burst out laughing. They're so funny! and glowing...

Excerpt from one:
"I love Ms. Manley... I wish I could fail and be with her again!"
Love this one: "She deserves a pay raise and her own parking space."
This one made me want to cry: "Ms. Manley is a great metals and life teacher."

How wonderful!!!! I feel validated. I'm only part time. So I only get paid for the actual hour(s) in the classroom, face to face with the students. The extra time I put in with out pay painting a old showcase to put their work in, or babysitting the student art show last week, the extra money I pump into the class when we need things I can't order, or time delivering work that wasn't picked up from the show, sweeping the floor, scrubbing the sink, repairing tools, or driving broken tools across town to those that can repair them.... all seem worth it now. I do those things because I love metalsmithing and I want to see people get to do it, who normally wouldn't. I can confidently say that all of these people who took my class this semester wouldn't be making jewelry and metal work if it weren't for the class at CFCC. Most of them would never even have been exposed to "art metal" or "art jewelry". So my work here is done.
Warm inside!

Ring of Bright Water

photo by Michael Franklin


Ring of Bright Water is one of my favorite movies. I'm ashamed to say I have not read the book. But I thought it a fitting title to this post. I've enjoyed reading Jake Stachovak's blog and want to share this paragraph from his About page with you:
"It's Not Really About Me - It's About the Water
It’s about you and all the people along the route, and anybody else that cares to listen. I’m not out to prove anything about myself with this trip. By many people’s standards it doesn’t even fit the description of an expedition. Paddling 5000 miles through everyone’s backyard isn’t “hard core” enough to compare to trips that probe remote arctic islands or cross entire oceans. What I hope sharing this trip does do is show people how paddle sports can open up a world of adventure right near home. I also hope that the route itself (starting and ending in the same small town in Wisconsin, linked by a continuous loop of water around a third of our country) shows how we all are linked by water. Perhaps with an appreciation for watersports and the realization that we all share the same water we may be motivated to take care of it for the future. "
You can read more here.

Robert & Jake as he loads up to head north.

Celebrity in the House!

photo by Micheal Franklin






Robert and I were lucky enough to host Jake Stachovak. Jake is kayaking from Portage Wisconsin in a loop down the Mississippi, around Florida, up the East Coast all the way back to Portage. Read about his amazing trip here!

A Steam punk romance. By keithnewsteadautomata.com

Oh yeah!

The Cog is Dead - "The Death of the Cog"

FUN!

the hissss of steam

Josh Sreb

I have to brag on some of my students. It's the end of the year at CFCC and I'm taking photos of the final work. I'll share some more as the week progresses. I just finished tweaking these images of Josh Sreb's work.
Isn't it WONDERFUL!?
I'm hoping Josh's work will be accepted into a new Quarry press book coming out, Steeeeeeeeeampunk!
And hopefully, we'll see more of his work as he progresses. This semester was Josh's first foray into metalworking! CFCC will be loosing Josh, along with a number of my other best students as they go off to other schools and pursuits. BTW- the cuff is for sale as is the second belt buckle pictured. I keep telling Josh and others that they need online stores/etsy shops. Let him know what you think!

Intimacy

So, it's late. I have to get up a 6. I should be in bed, but I feel verbose. I was recently thinking about a comment a woman made at my table of wares at Artfest this year. She said,
"wow, your work is so refined... and its so ... intimate." It just cropped back up in my mind and I'm swishing it around. How nice. I like it... intimate. Isn't that what jewelry does best? Its given intimately. Its small and requires a paring down of experience... a scaling down of vision. Keith Lo Bue talks about allowing the viewer in, and that being the choice of the wearer... I think I'm drawn to nuance as well. I like it when something's packed with nuance. Or when subtlety is used... a subtle transition from one edge to another, or a fading texture gradually dying off a surface. Ah.. so lovely... and when it's done well! a patina that is used just so... a fine file that has gently licked off a sharp edge and softened it and then been lovingly sanded to the silkiest of smoothnesses.... so nice.

Why am I enraptured with metal? I mean really, why? why not clay? I love clay! I used to adore it! but now its okay, I mean I like it an all. Why not oil paints or soil? I used to adore soil! ...and humus and roots and the warm smell of it on my hands, but now..
it is metal that I cannot stop thinking about. I drive the road, NPR playing in the background dreaming of how many different hinges I can make for one locket. How many different ways I can trap a shell in metal. How many different ways I could solder a platform onto a ring to raise it up differently each time. why does my brain do this? And then why is it so hard to actually make the metal sugarplums that dance in my head? It seems there's never time.
I guess it's back to that word, intimacy. I am intimately involved with copper and silver. We are in a love triangle we three.
Or is it an age thing? is there something about middle age when your brain kicks into high gear, but only on certain things? I can't remember my middle name but ask me a question about metal! ah well... it's a lovely affair.

Whitman

....walked out to the studio, after making diner, after teaching.... the late evening air was so cool, so lovely. No hint of the awful August ahead. The birds were still about. The cat snuck out beside my leg, exited to be loosed on the night world. I had mistakenly left the radio playing softly on a shelf. Even though the dinner in the house was in the oven, the timer about to ding, I thought I'd just flip on one soft desk light and touch some of my tools, revisit the project, one of millions I've had to abandon mid-process to go to a part time job. So I stole it, that soft moment at the bench, not even 4 minutes of time and then it happened. Just liek things like these do, there it was wafting out of the radio... someone reading Whitman.

I froze at the words. I've never payed one whit (no pun intended) of attention to Walt Whitman. I preferred the romantics or Rumi, but I could not ignore it. It sliced my thoughts open with such a quick clean cut. Here try it yourself:

"There's no object so soft that it makes a hub for the wheeled universe. And any man or woman shall stand cool and supercilious before a million universes. And I call to mankind, be not curious about God, for I who am curious about each am not curious about God. No array of terms can say how much I'm at peace about God and about death. I hear and behold God in every object, yet I understand God not in the least, nor do I understand who there can be more wonderful than myself. Why should I wish to see God better than this day? I see something of God each hour of the 24 and each moment then, in the faces of men and women. I see God and in my own face in the glass. I find letters from God dropped in the street and everyone is signed by Gods name and I leave them where they are, for I know that others will punctually come forever and ever. And as to you, death, and you bitter hug of mortality, it is idle to try to alarm me."

so beautiful.... guess I had better pay more attention.

My New Etsy shop

Check out my new shop saltwatercowgurlz.etsy.com. The focus will be belt buckles and belts. I don't have any buckles up yet,soon, soon! But I have plenty of belts!

My Students Buckles

Thought I'd share some of Cape Fear Community College students' belt buckles:
Alex Kleiner, Aleah Smith ( has dried pansies under plexiglass) and Courtney Fryar.

Otter Skull Fetish

Here are pictures taken at the Iron Chef Artists Challenge by Rachel Bowen Thanks Rachel!!!
In these the fetish is still damp. I made it to hang on the wall. The sausage casings and concentrated watercolors dried lighter, and if I remember correctly some of the salt left a white frosty effect. BTW- the otter skull was a resin replica!! No otters were harmed in the Iron Chef Artist Challenge or the making of this art piece. Also the large chunk of coral was supplied by AF in the kit. As many of you know, I'm adamantly against using coral. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS FARM RAISED OR FAST GROWING CORAL. these are myths perpetrated by the bead industry to fool you into purchasing guilt free. I almost had an argument with the bead store lady in Port Townsend. She insisted that there are farms in China that raise coral! Which I find preposterous. I was buying red glass there that looked coral and commented as such. But I just was weak at AF and used this piece that was provided.
Read more:
Oceana
Too Precious to Wear
World Wildlife Fund

Artfest Experiences

Hey! This is a photo by Adeola. I'm planning my creation at the Iron Chef Artist Challenge sitting next to Theo Elsworth, wearing his ghost glasses. She just a posted Artfest pictures on her blog! click here
You can see some of the great energy generated by the Iron Chef Artist Challenge and if you scroll down, I really enjoyed her pics of the journaling in the Kitchen Shelter by the beach. Love that tattoo! The bonfire journaling party is one of my FAVORITE events at AF the fire, the dogs and marshmallows, the creativity, the old woodstove going.... I well up with emotion!

Hat seller

I feel like the hat seller in a children's books. They're stacked on my head like a Dagwood's sandwich. I have not prepped and uploaded any Artfest photos nor have I worked on my tool junkie blog... and I am taking time out for this right now. the last down time I had was the Monday after Artfest when Robert and lazed and wandered about Port Townsend. I hit the ground here literally running. Our plane landed Tuesday after Artfest after an overnight redeye flight at 10:30 am. My dad picked us up at the airport and drove Robert to his part time outfitter job, and me to straight to the community college! I taught for three hours went home and collapsed.
I feel better about things when I forgive myself for all that I do.
Lists are great:
-clean house, unpack, set my studio up again
-teach/prep demos/ grade fix grades that are not loaded up online
-work on commissions from Adorn Me: don't worry ladies I've not forgotten about you!
-start with new VERY COOL private student she's hooked me up with a local teaching workshop venue
-meet/talk/email with new local teaching workshop venue:stay tuned!
-Email with event organizer in DC for a new retreat/ there come up with classes for them!
-Help organize CFCC student art show jurying this week/ view event venue/ plan display for the metals (need to repaint the showcase next week)
-make work to submit to a potential book a friend is doing???
-Take work back to the Gallery and get more made for summer
-Etsy...sigh... haven't done anything there. I have a new shop opening there of belts and belt buckles but its not happening anytime soon.
-Email...forever the email, sorry Kim... I'm still here!
-Book! yes, I want to do a book! this one is the "for Me" thing on the list. I wish the world would quit turning so I can make work and write!
-Robert and I HAVE to go shop for a car next week. I've been borrowing his and its his kayaking rust bucket (near or in salt water all the time.
-notice what's last on the list:
take care of me! exercize, loose weight, get my waning health under control... plant herbs and flowers....

Anyway the moral of the story is life is never easy for anyone. It throws stuff at us and we need to learn to juggle. So I wear this stack of hats and hey, it shades me from sun, keeps me warm... there are lots of benefits! Its a creative life! I get to make things and make things happen and touch lives in classrooms making things with others! But I don't always return emails quickly. And I might not have time to read and sign your online petition, or come to your party or opening, but I will try!

DC anyone?

Who wants to go to DC for the weekend and make art?? Anyone? Raise your hands....
Stay tuned!

Sublime

Thanks Daxx! Right up my alley!

Robert's Trek to Charleston-Night 1

Mother Nature has reminded Robert just how much he doesn't know!
He had high reviews for the staff at East Bay Park in Georgetown, SC. But tonight on Cedar Island is another story. He said he'd not see another boat or soul for hours. And as he landed and started setting up camp huge mosquitoes descended. He was very nearly sucked to a dry husk before he managed to put on a storm cag to try and gain some protection as he got the tent up. At our last phone conversation he feared they would realize they could all team up and pick up the tent and carry him off like a giant burrito. He said there were so many hitting the tent that it sounded like rain! He pulled as many supplies as he could near the zipper so he could just dart a hand out for what he needed. Not sure this in the man alone communing with nature that he'd hoped for!
Last position: Latitude:33.13423 Longitude:-79.2472

View Larger Map

Roberts Trek to Charleston

SO Robert had to modify his big kayak trip from here to Charleston due to a death in the family over the weekend. But he checked in today at Latitude:33.35687 and Longitude:-79.28007


View Larger Map
He'll paddle down Winyah Bay and out into the ocean. cool.....

Artfest 2010 Iron Chef Artists Challenge!

I have no pictures of the Artfest Iron Chef Artists challenge so I stole this one. Linn Woodard took it and I stole it from Carla Sonheim's blog (There are stunning pics of Fort Worden there).

So, here's the deal, Teesha decided she wanted some interesting events this year at AF. She had a band the first night, Surrealized, truly AWESOME! gave us goosebumps!
Then on Thursday night any teachers who wished to could participate in the Iron Chef Artists Challenge. We chose either 3D or 2D. I of course chose 3D. We were given the same bag of cool stuff and 30 minutes to make something out of it. We were allowed to bring our own bag of "tricks". I was kind of dreading it after I said I would do it. It just felt like a competition even though it wasn't supposed to me. And I felt on the spot about it and Stephanie Rubiano, Keith LoBue, Micheal DeMeng were all participating.... I just dreaded being compared to them. But! here's what happened! Tracy handed me my bag of goodies and the start was announced. I dumped it out and what fell out on my table but a replica realistic resin otter skull!!!! Yeah! Way! it did! right then the world around me fell away...DeMeng who? I was enthralled and instantly began making a fetish. The next 30 minutes evaporated and time stopped. People pushed and crowded and cameras flashed, members of Surrealized played. While I noticed the music I had no clue about anything else. I just made. I twisted wire and assembled. I stretched sausage casing around it all and painted it with vibrant watercolors. It was SOOOOOOO fun! They added additional minutes but I barely needed any. I was the first person finished in my area and I LOVED how it turned out. People have promised to send me pics so I'll share when I get some.

Countdown

me at Artfest last year




Why do I adore Artfest so much? so many reasons...
At Adorn Me a couple of ladies asked me about it. They'd heard it was expensive, cold...
not worth it. They were SADLY misled. I am not a wealthy person by any stretch, and I get cold like the next person but that's like saying, "I heard Heaven's really boring and the gold streets are a bummer to stub your toe on." ???!!! really!? okay well.. you just go right on believing that!

Artfest is so priceless to me. I would do all kinds of things to be able to go every year.
The environment is a visual feast. The textures and rich greens... the lushness....
the view out to the ocean over the gorgeous bluff, the peeling old paint on some of the older buildings, then add to it the artists and their plumage! Teesha and Tracey are the coolest people EVER! and around then flock the coolest people EVER! The magical energy and vitality that swirls around next week at Artfest is unlike any other retreat... for me that is. I'm not a fan of the hotel retreat environment. Of course it make sense your indoors to learn the workshop... but its so sterile, fake and the air is recycled and has that icky hotel smell. don't get me wrong with hotel retreats the organizers try really hard to make it fun and choose great teachers and they can be a blast too. But I prefer a space that is inspiring. I want a vista, or scenery, or a gorgeous sky when I am not making or teaching. It is so wonderful in our time off to hike up the bluff, or down to the lovely lighthouse amongst the sculptural driftwood on a beach peppered with interesting rocks and pebbles. once in Anahata's class on the upper floor of one of the old buildings the sun brilliantly blazed forth through the tall windows. We cracked them and let the warm air breeze in. She put on fantastic music and we painted together in silence with the sounds and smells of the sea wafting in through the windows, while birds chirped outside and clouds billowed by on a blue sky. You could smell grass lawn being mowed... glorious and so NOT hotel...
The nearby town is quaint, picturesque and artsy. Its people delightfully friendly and talkative. Robert and I are entranced. A lot of folks are when they visit Port Townsend.
I couldn't imagine thinking Artfest was expensive. Teesha tries hard to make it available to all. There are even scholarship situations. So if you are reading this and on the fence, you will never, never regret coming to Artfest.

Floats on a fence by Ranger's housing Fort Worden.

Dreamcatching

the grasses at Fort Worden at Artfest last year.



McCabe of Dancing Mermaid said this a day or so ago:
"i think the closer i get to my dreams the more i freak myself out."

Wow....
have to agree. I think this is why its really HARD to follow our dreams! We think we want to but its work, its scary, it may require change.... just not simple. but usually the rewards are untold, even unimagined!

Monday , Monday....

Wow, back in the swing for a week at the community college, then off again for Artfest! I have midterms to grade, assignments to grade, handouts to design for Artfest, outlines to do, supply lists to check off, new jewelry that may never get made, business cards to make for a friend, more shopping to do, and re orders for the community college for supplies for next year, our student show's in a few weeks, boxes to ship and disasters to avert! *pant*pant* Then tonight, lots of soothing to do with the teenage female person! Lots of emotional turmoil... I told her today, "well, might as well get used to it. One minute you'll be angry, the next elated, the next depressed and feeling inadequate... that's what being a teenager is all about! It's jam packed with feelings and emotions all swirling around. You have to learn how to deal with them and control them. It's a learning process you can't avoid. You have to grow through all those emotions!" She said, "its kind of like being bipolar only there's no medication for being a teenager!" I said "you got it! pat yourself on the back for figuring that out now!" She cracked a smile. We made found object goodie boxes for vendor night at Artfest, complete with clock gears, resistors, and itty bitty electrical thingies. While I graded, she baked some white chocolate macadamia nut cookies and searched bizarre choral music on youtube. She made extra cookies to take to her girlfriends at school. She really enjoyed making the goodie boxes with me she said,"Mom, I can't wait 'til I can go to Artfest with you."
Soon... maybe when she's 17 she'll be old enough... I love it so much there, Artfest itself, the students, the instructors, the volunteers, the art, vendor night, the trees, the Fort, the beach, the driftwood, the rocks, Port Townsend!
.... and I know she would too.

Small Pleasures

Woke to this in the morning and thought it was just lovely.

Later, over my cereal and coffee, I read another artist's beautiful blog. Ya' know its so frustrating... there is always somebody more talented, and more prolific with a cooler life. Its hard to keep your eyes on your own paper. I'm not jealous, I mean I like my life and I don't have malicious feelings, just envious feelings... "I wish" feelings. But those are non productive. I fight them so often... and I know envy is a cancer. And I have Artfest to get ready for! As hard as it is for me to get any studio time, and productive studio time at that... I can't get derailed in a quagmire of self doubt. *sigh* Just wish I were more free in my work and cranked out cool stuff at the rate she does. I seriously doubt she's on anyone else's blog envying! But for those of us that experience these moments take heart, and dig deep into your own life.

On a lighter note here's some pictures of the belt buckles my student Beth Hammett just finished for her sons! They were a winter ordeal. They had to be redone and worked over a number of times. She told her sons they'd have to change their homeowners policies because these were now worth $10,000.00 each due to the amount of work in them! the end result is wonderful she should be proud. One is faux bone with a city skyline inspired by her son's business logo. The fauxbone encloses a piece of Russian meteorite. the buckle's etched "when you wish upon a star" on the reverse. The other buckle is an enameled basse taille (etched)water scene. It has our mutually favorite quote from Isak Dinesan "The cure for anything is salt water; sweat, tears or the sea."

Beavo

Here's the little longhorn who came to Adorn Me and went to dinner with us, shown with Riki Schumacher's cuff.
Read about him here on Riki's blog

70 degrees!

Ah.... its 70 outside and I ate lunch outside on my little deck in a tank top!

A Goodly Huge Cabinet

"with a small compass a model of the universal made private ....a goodly, huge cabinet, wherein whatsoever the hand of man by exquisite art or engine has made rare in stuff, form or motion; whatsoever the singularity, chance and shuffle of things hath produced; whatsoever Nature hath wrought in things that want life and may be kept; shall be sorted and included." Francis Bacon 1594

In a frantic search and dig through all the myriad CRAP that accumulates in my studio, ran across this description of a Wunderkammer by Francis Bacon that used to hang over my bench in grad school. Seemed fitting....

...and here's a Remedios Varo piece

Hard Candy in Houston

More Hard Candy pics!
Here Stephanie Rubiano fires some enamels.


















Below are Tish's beads. I apologize, but I realized that since I didn't get to keep a roster I don't know last names! If you're out there Tish speak up, these were great! The blue and silver one says La Luna along the crescent edge.














EJ's adorable little brass dapping block and her buddy Jennifer hard at work.

Hard Candy Pics!

Here are some images from the "Hard Candy" enamel bead class.

Collage Lab

My pal Bee Shay has a new book out "Collage Lab". And guess what! I'm in it! I have a watercolor pour collage in the gallery section. Woo hoo!

Fun at Adorn Me!

The Hard Candy class was a blast! through the class as well as my fab roomie Charlene I met and bonded with Diana Frey, Riki Schumacher and Diane Cook. What a riot those gals are! Enroute to dinner at a fun local tex-mex spot, Riki revealed the group's little plastic longhorn mascot. His name is still being decided I think, more on that later. The little plastic longhorn got to eat out and then participate in a Thomas Mann class and a Keith LoBue class. He's a lucky little bovine!

Here Diana Frey and another student Susan Linn torch fire their enamels.

My Adorn Me! Roomie Charlene

Adorn Me was WONDERFUL! I had a FABULOUS roomie that I met online through the Adorn Me! yahoo group. Gotta love those yahoo groups! Charlene's blog is here. She was my guardian angel running to get the luggage cart helping me load and unload stuff... just an all around great gal. You can "meet" Charlene here and see her soldering with plumbing solder in Diana Frey's "Twisted Sistah" class.

Adorn Me! Houston

Everyone at Adorn Me! had a great time we all sincerely hope that it's a yearly thing now. Stay tuned! I did not take many photos. I was go, go, going the entire time. I hardly had time to breathe! I got to meet someone I've read about and admired for YEARS Ricë Freeman-Zachery. I have long loved her journal clothing and am very inspired to try my hand at one. Spent some good chat time after breakfast Friday with she and EGE, her husband "Ever Gorgeous Earl", who is just that! Earl is a quiet one but what a thrill to get a chuckle out of him! Earl was behind the camera much of the week at Adorn Me as Ricë and he have a new book coming out. Again, stayed tuned!!! ...very exciting stuff. They were truly quality folks and a delight to have finally met.

Pre Houston Chaos

So I've been in such a whirlwind that I didn't load these up before I left.

Charmed at SCC in Pittsburgh

I participated in the show "Charmed" at the Society of Contemporary Craft which soon comes down. Many of the charms will stay in the store there.
Check 'em out here!
It was nice to be in the company of so many legendary metalsmiths!
Off to pack and plan for "Adorn Me!" in Houston.

Robert's V-Day Paddle

Well on Valentine's Day I spent a day in the studio and Robert went out kayaking with our friends. Here's a clip of their trip!

Metal Tigers

Be firm and fearless it is the Year of the Metal Tiger!

What will you choose?

"I believe that every single event in life happens as an opportunity to choose love over fear.” – Oprah Winfrey

Wow... this has been my life choosing...love? fear? love? fear? I've made some bad choices, some hard choices, some easy ones and quite a few good choices. and many of them revolved around those two things. I have tried very hard for some years now to choose love every time. I try to start fresh each day beginning from a place of love. And in difficult situations I ask love to open my heart that has grown cold with fear. It works!

Creative River

I am a sucker for a metaphor and well, water metaphors? I'm done for. You had me at water.... Currently many of you know I am enthralled with Women Who Run with the Wolves. I just had to share some excerpts that are resonating with me and have done so now for a full week. When I read this it was a reverberating gong! It was just what I needed to read.

The following are from Chapter 10 Clear Water: Nourishing the Creative Life

“Creativity is a shapechanger. One moment it takes this form, the next that. It is like a dazzling spirit who appears to us all, yet is hard to describe for no one agrees on what they saw in that brilliant flash.”

The author talks on about creative endeavors from the obvious, painting, to those tasks which we perform with soul and imbue with creativity such as raising children or nations. “All these are from the Wild Woman, the Rio Abajo Rio, the river beneath the river, which flows and flows into our lives.”

“It is the love of something, having so much love for something-whether a person, a word, an image, an idea, the land, or humanity-that all that can be done with the over-flow is to create. It is not a matter of wanting to, not a singular act of will, one solely must.”

I realized this is so much at the heart of why I do what I do and why I freely share what I do. Many artists worry about their work or ideas being stolen. I myself have worried, and still do, about this sort of thing. When you're an artist your ideas are your merchandise. You can't simply put in a scanning system and hidden cameras and hire a security guard. It's just not that easy. So what needs to change I ask myself.... Myself! is my answer...
I need to change! or I will make myself miserable feeling always victimized, always on guard. If I cannot control it why not let go. Make new work. Move on. If you give into the fear you begin to think everyone's work is looking a little too much like yours. Then you imagine sales being torn away from you, and your mind and ego go wild and you envision being totally forgotten by your clientele in favor of the interloper and then the ensuing poverty and pizza delivery job you'll have to get to survive. You become the jealous lover, ever vigilent of your possession. You become its prisoner.
Or better yet would you lock away your child so it is never kidnapped?! Of course not. So will you become completely freaked out each day until she is home from school? Of course not, you find a balance.

So as artists isn't there a better way to be?! Isn't there some balance there?
If creativity is like the river then it is ever changing, ever rushing on, carving out new places, dragging with it new material from its banks, ever nourishing its banks downstream, being replenished by the rains, etc. I cultivate this sort of thinking in myself. Falling prey to the fear of being ripped off is pollution to my river. It is toxic waste that once allowed to spread like a green acid, pollutes my creativity's headwaters and then I can create nothing. I become barren, stagnant and lost. It happens so fast. I have learned just how fragile my muse is. It is a Prince Rupert's drop. It will withstand so many things but one toxic thought shatters it.

Time in the studio to create is so very, very dear to me. There are times I get so little of it and it is my drug. The smallest toxic thought ruins me for days and sabotages my efforts. This translates immediately into less for sale at shows and therefore less money coming in, less ideas for future workshops, which equals less income and so on. It is a downward spiral that feeds itself. Ruined creative time gives the bad ego Harpy voices ammo, "You never make anything interesting much less good. Forget it, art?! Ha you haven't done anything decent since grad school! And even that was questionable. You'll never make art real galleries will want." And the coups de grace" "Anyone can make this, when will you really make something worthwhile?" etc. The Harpies fly in and crap all over any new piece of jewelry. It take all I have to keep the locked out. Even on a good day I can hear their beating wings on the window panes.

So, do not feel alone! All artists at sometime suffer the voices of doubt. But I take heart and focus on the water metaphor. The waters must be kept clean and cherished. Water can and does nourish us. Be your river's keeper for its effects will be felt far downstream and you cannot possibly imagine what those effects might be.
I jokingly call Robert Tom Bombadil and he sweetly calls me Goldberry the river's daughter.

More *°SNOW°*

Oh I just love it! I can picture tomorrow, hot coffee, romping in the snow, then the studio all day with the lovely white wonderland outside.

*°SNOW°*

Oh I LOVE the SNOW!!!! WE haven't had any in YEARS!!!! Robert and I have been out throwing snowballs at midnight!!! We walked to the end of our street. Its GLORIOUS!

Men's Night Out!

This Wednesday come see me at the Golden Gallery in the Cotton Exchange from 6-8pm for "Men's Night Out", a shopping event especially for you guys to do your Valentine's Day shopping.

Joe Jackson - Look Sharp! (10" vinyl record)

Dancing Mermaid

PLEASE go read this blog!
Her post on the January 25th was SO beautiful!

"i am gonna be honest here,
and it might apply to you
and it might not

but this thing you have
whatever artistic identification that may be
stamped on your heart
and weaved into everything you touch

someone is going to try to take it
at some point

they probably won’t mean to
or maybe they will
or maybe it will be a fluke
or maybe they will try to make money
off this thing

that is so rightfully yours

and no matter how hard they try
(if they are trying)
it is not going to be exactly like you
because that is technically impossible

it does not contain your spirit, it contains
their spirit thus giving no comparison

in that same respect
this thing you have

someone, somewhere,
whether you are aware of it or not
has done the same thing

(and again, no comparisons)

i am not saying go be an asshole,
it is obviously not that black and white

but what i am saying is
i truly believe there is enough for everyone,
everywhere

no one can take the best part of
you

and that thing-
that thing you are so afraid that someone is going
to snatch up before you get a chance to birth it

it is not the only thing
you have

it is a simply a gem
among a whole sea of treasures

and there is a lot more where all
that goodness came from

i promise you that

creative assignment #25 what thing are you afraid of losing?"

Again, not my work, but the writing of McCabe at Dancing Mermaid